Sam looked up. “And the kids?”

Finn nodded solemnly. “And we never lost a younger sibling in a dumpster. Ollie lives in the dumpster every other Thursday. Recycling day.”

Halfway through the second episode—where the TV dad tries to teach his sons about responsibility by making them share one single phone—Mark paused the screen. He looked at his three boys: Sam’s lanky frame folded into a beanbag, Finn’s face now a Rorschach test of orange snack residue, and Ollie sharpening a plastic spork into a “ceremonial dagger.”

“That was art ,” Finn mumbled, mouth full of cheese dust.

“It’s a tactical hide,” Ollie said. “You wouldn’t understand.”

Ollie, who had just finished lashing a ladle to a broom handle, paused. “Press play. I need tactical inspiration for the weekend.”

Sam didn’t look up from his phone. “We don’t set fires, Dad.”