Pokemon Shield -01008db008c2c800--v458752--us-.... 〈99% EXCLUSIVE〉

Look, I don’t know how my save file says v458752 — that’s over 52 years of playtime. Either my Switch is a time lord or the clock glitched after my 400th Wooloo capture. But honestly? Pokémon Shield is comfort food. The Wild Area still stutters like a shy Spinda, Hop still calls me after every gym badge like we’re best friends (we’re not), and that post-game difficulty is flatter than a Sinistea’s defense stat.

But you know what? I boot it up anyway. Shiny hunting in the Crown Tundra, max raids with strangers who bring Magikarp, and the sheer joy of seeing my tiny Grookey beat up a giant Dynamax Snorlax. It’s not the best RPG. It’s not even the best Pokémon game. But it’s my glitchy, cozy, 01008DB008C2C800-shaped mess. Pokemon Shield -01008DB008C2C800--v458752--US-....

Here’s a creative, in-character review based on that save data snippet: “458752 hours in and I still can’t escape Route 1” Rating: ⭐⭐⭐☆☆ Look, I don’t know how my save file